Still far away from where I belong
by hunterintrenchcoat
Summary: Castiel finally broke Metatron's spell, got his Grace back and helped angels to return to Heaven. (Possibly pre-relationship, song inspired)


_This ficlet is inspired by the lyrics of "Coming Home Part II" by Skylar Grey. These lyrics I used are not mine, they belong to Skylar Grey._

* * *

"I said once 'E.T. goes home', but he never really left..."  
"I think E.T. is really going this time."  
Dean sighed and managed a smile, trying his best to look happy. All he felt was emptiness.  
"My brothers allowed me to return, you have to understand that..."  
"I get it, Cas."  
Yes, he really did, and part of him wished he didn't. Understanding hurt most of the time.  
"Then why are you upset?"  
Dean straightened, putting on his perfect mask of indifference that he used to wear in situations like these.  
"I'm not."  
Castiel squinted at him and then sighed.  
"Dean, I want to tell you something."  
"Tell me what?"  
Castiel paused, looking down at his own hands resting on the counter.  
"...thank you, for everything."  
"Yeah. Yeah, sure."  
Dean sipped at his beer, trying to shove his sorrow down his throat.

.

_I'm coming home_  
_I'm coming home_  
_Tell the world I'm coming home_

Dean watched as pure white light landed on Castiel and surrounded him gracefully. He covered his eyes when the light intensified and became unbearable for his eyes.

_Let the rain wash away_  
_all the pain of yesterday_

Castiel glanced back at Dean over his shoulder and gave him his angelic half-smile.

_I know my kingdom awaits_  
_and they've forgiven my mistakes_

He straightened and looked up, stretching his arms in a welcoming and surrendering gesture. The light exploded and Dean had to turn around to protect himself from the sudden wave of pure energy. When the light was gone and he turned back around, there was no one there.

_I'm coming home_  
_I'm coming home_  
_Tell the world I'm coming..._

_._

_Still far away_  
_from where I belong_

Castiel watched as Dean absent-mindedly swirled his glass of whiskey, looking out of the window, lost in thoughts. He drowned it before refilling it up. It was his third glass that night. He looked so empty. He knew how it felt like. He knew why both of them felt the same.

_but it's always darkest_  
_before the dawn_

Weeks passed, even if it felt like years. It was probably Heaven's perception of time, he still had difficulties in readjusting to his home. If it was really his home after all.

_so you can doubt_  
_and you can hate_

Dean yelled at the sky, at him. He was drunk, he was crying. His words hit him and hurt him even if he was far far away. They hurt because he was right, always was right and he had never listened.

_but I know, no matter what it takes_

Some of his brothers were yelling, voices that would normally shatter glass and break eardrums at home but here, they were delicate here, more like graceful singing. It was contrasting to hear such chanting when all he could feel was pain.

.

_I'm coming home_  
_I'm coming home_  
_Tell the world I'm coming home_

Air hit him hard and furiously, he felt burn and pain and agony. When he touched ground, he shouted and writhed.

_Let the rain wash away_  
_all the pain of yesterday_

Dean ran out of the motel room as he saw a bright trail close in the sky, ignoring the heavy rain that ran down his spine and sent chills all over his body. He ran, ran until he couldn't breathe anymore and didn't stop.

_I know my kingdom awaits_  
_and they've forgiven my mistakes_

"Dean." Castiel whimpered as he crawled on wet mud, soiling his old vessel's clothes. His head pounded and he had missed the feeling even if he had always hated it. He kept crawling, heading towards his destination but he was slow, too slow, and everything hurt.

_I'm coming home_  
_I'm coming home _

"Cas?" Dean appeared in the dark distance and he called out, falling on his side, worn out and pained. Rain fell on his face and he relished the sensations of cold drops on his aching skin. He opened his eyes when he didn't feel them anymore and he knew someone was leaning over him. "Cas!" Dean pulled him in his arms and shook him, "Cas!" he called again. Castiel finally opened his eyes and stared at his wide eyes, their green darkened by the grey sky, "Cas, what happened?"

_Tell the world I'm coming..._

He smiled and leaned against Dean's chest when a shiver shook his whole body, "I'm home."

_...home._


End file.
